Shank's Mare Page 11

  The dried-up mother-in-law is cast aside

  And turns again into the juicy bride.

  From there they reached the River Shōi, where the rain of the previous day having been heavy and the bridge presumably having been swept away, travellers were taking off their pants and pulling up their clothes to ford the river. Yaji and Kita were just about to follow their example when two blind men, going up to the capital and in doubt whether they could walk across the stream, accosted them.

  'Can you tell me,' said one of them whose name was Inuichi, 'whether the water is only knee-deep.'

  'Yes, yes,' said Kita, 'but the current's rather fast, so it's a little dangerous. Mind how you go.'

  'Yes,' said the blind man, 'I can tell by the sound that it's running fast.'

  He took a stone and threw it in. 'It seems shallow here,' he said. 'Here, Saruichi,' he called to the other blind man. 'We needn't both of us take off our leggings. You're younger than I. Take me across on your back.'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Saruichi. 'None of your tricks. We'll play for it, and the one who loses will have to carry the other across. What do you say?'

  'All right,' said Inuichi. 'Come along. Three times, you know.'

  'Ryangosai! Ryangosai!' cried Saruichi, as they waved their right hands, while with their left hands they felt what each other was doing.

  'I've won, I've won,' said Inuichi.

  'What a shame!' said Saruichi. 'Well, tie my bundle up with yours and put them on your back. Are you all right? Come along then.'

  He turned round for the other to get on his back, when Yaji, seeing his chance, stepped forward and got on instead. Saruichi, who thought he had Inuichi on his back, stepped into the water and was soon across. Inuichi, who had in the meantime been waiting on the other side, here began to call out.

  'Saru, Saru,' he cried. 'What are you doing? Why don't you carry me across the river quick?'

  Hearing Inuichi calling to him from the other side of the river, Saruichi began to get angry.

  'None of your jokes,' he cried. 'Didn't I carry you across the river just now, and there you are on the other side again? Who are you fooling?'

  'Don't talk nonsense,' said Inuichi. 'You went across alone. No cheating.'

  'It's you that are cheating,' retorted Saruichi.

  'You shouldn't talk like that to your elder,' replied Inuichi. 'Come and carry me across at once.'

  Inuichi was beginning to show the whites of his eyes, so Saruichi, seeing that there was nothing to be done but to go back again, crossed the river once more.

  'There, there,' he said. 'Get on my back.'

  He turned round, and Kita, rejoicing at his luck, jumped on and Saruichi set out once more to cross the river. Inuichi now began to get very angry.

  'Saruichi,' he cried. 'Where are you?'

  Hearing this Saruichi stopped in the middle of the river. 'Halloa!' he said. 'Who's this I've got on my back?'

  Thereupon he prompdy dropped Kita into the river.

  'Help! Help!' cried Kita, and as he was being carried away by the current he began waving his arms and legs about till Yaji jumped in and pulled him out, wet to the skin.

  'Look what that blind beggar's done to me,' moaned Kita.

  'Well, take off your kimono and wring it out,' said Yaji.

  'It was your fault,' continued Kita. 'If you hadn't got him to carry you across I shouldn't have tried it myself.'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Yaji. 'What a shame to drop you in the river like that!'

  Thus enjoying the joke Yaji made a little poem on it:

  Fooling the blind he had a little spill,

  The current was swift, the punishment swifter still.

  'I don't want to listen to your jokes,' said Kita. 'Shut up! Oh-h, it's cold.'

  He shivered as he tried to wring the water out of his kimono.

  Just then the blind men, who had at last got across the river, passed them.

  'You can't wear that wet kimono,' said Yaji. 'You'd better get another out. We'll get it dried when we get to a fire.'

  'I shall catch cold,' said Kita. 'What a shame!'

  Grumbling and sneezing he got out another kimono, and having hung the wet one over his arm they went on.

  Soon they got to Kakegawa, where at the last teahouse the girls were calling out, 'Stop here and eat. Try our fish-soup. Try our boiled cuttle-fish. Walk in, walk in.'

  Then there were the baggage-carriers singing their songs: —

  Blow! Blow! Blow! Blow! Blow!

  Heave her up! Heave her up! On you go.

  Light as a feather, —its feathers you know.

  Light as feathers. Do you think they know?

  No! No!

  Do you think they know?

  'Hin, hin,' whinnied the horses.

  'Look, Kita,' said Yaji. 'There are those two blind men in that teahouse.'

  'That's good,' said Kita. 'I'm going to have my revenge on them for throwing me into the river.'

  They went into the teahouse and Kita sat down by the side of the blind men.

  'Shall I bring you a meal?' asked the maid.

  'No, no, we're bursting already,' replied Yaji.

  The two blind men went on drinking their sake, quite unconscious of their presence.

  'We've drunk all the sake,' said Inuichi. 'Let's have some more.'

  'So we have,' said Saruichi. 'Here, landlord, landlord, bring a little more drink.'

  'Coming, sir,' cried the maid.

  'By the way,' said Inuichi, 'I wonder what became of that rascal you threw in the river.'

  'Oh, him,' said Saruichi, laughing contemptuously. 'Let's wet the other eye.'

  He filled the cup and after taking a sip put it down by his side, when Kitahachi, softly stretching out his hand, took up the cup, drank off the contents and put it back where it was before.

  'He was a rogue,' continued Saruichi. 'Got on my back as bold as brass, he did, but it was quite a different thing when he got into the water. Did you hear him calling "Help! Help!"? He was in a terrible fright. He's one of those chaps who go about bamboozling people. Probably he's a pickpocket.'

  'That's about it,' said Inuichi. 'You can depend upon it he can't be up to any good. He's the sort of chap that would come to a place like this and go off without paying. Let's have another drink.'

  'Oh, ah!' said Saruichi, 'I'd forgotten about the drink.'

  He felt for the cup and was going to drink when he found that there was nothing in it.

  'That's funny,' he said. 'I must have spilled it.' He felt about again. 'It's strange,' he said. 'However, let's fill it again.'

  He filled it up again, took a sip and put it down. Immediately Kitahachi again reached for the cup, drank the contents and put it back.

  'It would be funny if those chaps were to come in here,' said Inuichi.

  'Not they,' said Saruichi. 'They're probably wandering about down there wringing out their clothes and trying to dry them. They're both stupid rascals.'

  Feeling for the cup he took it up, only to find that again there was nothing in it.

  'Now, how's that?' he said.

  'What's the matter?' asked Inuichi. 'Spilled it again? How careless you are.'

  'No, I didn't spill it,' said Saruichi. 'There's something very strange about this.'

  'That's what you always say,' said Inuichi. 'I believe you drank it yourself.'

  While they were disputing Kita got hold of the sake bottle and filled his teacup twice, afterwards softly putting the bottle back where it was before.

  'Here,' said Inuichi, 'you give me the cup.'

  He snatched it from Saruichi and picked up the bottle to fill it.

  'Hullo!' he cried. 'Why, you've drunk it all.'

  'Nonsense!' said Saruichi. 'What are you talking about?'

  'Well, the bottle's empty.'

  'Then it was never full,' said Saruichi. 'Here, landlord,' he called, 'do you think we are fools because we are blind? We've only had two sips out of this bottle of sake and i
t's empty. What do you mean by it?'

  'It was full when I gave it you,' said the landlord. 'Perhaps you've spilled it.'

  'Spilled it, indeed!' said Saruichi. 'You dealers are all the same. At any rate we won't pay for it.'

  Thus he began to get very angry. Now there happened to be a little girl loitering at the door of the teahouse and she had seen all that had happened.

  'That man there,' she said, pointing to Kita, 'took the blind man's sake and poured it into his teacup.'

  'What's the child talking about?' said Kita. 'I'm drinking tea.' He quickly drank up all the sake left in his teacup.

  'You smell of sake,' said the landlord, 'and your face is red. Perhaps you've drunk the gentlemen's sake.'

  'What?' cried Kita. 'You say the same? It's outrageous. My face is red because I'm drunk with tea. Persons who get drunk on sake get tongue-tied, and in the same way persons who get drunk on tea, say " tea, tea, tea" all the time. That's why tea's so. Ha-ha-ha!'

  'No, no,' said Saruichi. 'You don't fob us off in that way. What the child says is true. This man has drunk my sake on the sly and he's got to pay for it.'

  'You're tea-tea-totally wrong,' said Kita. 'What I tea-tea-took was tea, as I tea-tea-told you, only you will tea-tea-talk so much.'

  'What's the good of playing the fool that way?' said Inuichi. 'You thought nobody would see you, but the child is a witness.'

  'There's a certain proof, landlord,' said Saruichi. 'Smell his teacup and see whether it smells of sake.'

  Kitahachi, feeling that he was caught, tried to hide his tea-cup, but the landlord seized it and smelled it.

  'It does, it does,' he cried, 'and it's sticky with it too. There can be no mistake, you drank it and you must pay for it.'

  'I won't pay for the sake because I didn't drink it,' said Kita, who saw that he was in a corner, 'but I'll pay anything you like for the tea. How much is it?'

  'Very well, then, pay for the tea,' said the landlord. 'You've had two bottles of tea. That will be sixty-four coppers.'

  'What?' cried Kita. 'For two bottles of tea? It's outrageous.'

  'Here, we've had enough of this,' intervened Yaji. 'Pay up. You're always getting into trouble. Better pay up before anything happens.' He gave Kita a warning look, and there being nothing else to do Kita paid the money.

  'Really,' said Saruichi, 'these people are outrageous. Probably they are the same people who played the trick on us at the river. To drink another person's sake on the sly. It's robbery.'

  'What, you call us robbers, you blind beggar?' cried Kita flying into a passion.

  'We're in the wrong,' interposed Yaji. 'You must forgive him. When he gets drunk with tea there's no holding him. I'll tea-tea-take him away.'

  He dragged Kita away and made him walk fast till they had left the stage far behind.

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Yaji. 'You're the biggest fool I've ever met.'

  Passing through Sawada and Hosoda the two travellers came to Sunegawa Hill, where the trees on each side of the road were so thick that they made it quite dark and they were unable to distinguish people who passed them. Suddenly they heard a voice calling, ' Halloa there! Halloa there, master travellers! ' Turning round they saw a man running towards them in the shadow of the trees. He had his hand in his bosom and he wore an old wadded garment like a dressing gown, with a queer shaped hat on his head. His face was bushy with hair and he looked very dirty. Yaji and Kita, who had never seen such a strange-looking man before, felt very frightened as he came up to them.

  'What do you want running after us like this in broad daylight?' stammered Yaji.

  'He-he-he!' tittered the man. 'I only wanted to ask your honours to give me a copper.'

  'What a thing to ask?' said Kita. 'Is that all you were running after us for? There's a copper.'

  'Frightening people out of their wits,' grumbled Yaji. 'I never saw such a fool of a beggar.'

  From there they quickly arrived at Fukuroi, where on each side of the way the teahouses were busy serving the travellers with sake and food.

  After passing this stage they overtook a Kyōto citizen. He was wearing a wadded kimono, had a gold-mounted dirk, a flower-coloured woollen overcloak, and a waterproof. He was travelling with one attendant. After they had passed and repassed several times he spoke to them.

  'You gentlemen are from Edo, I suppose,' he said.

  'Yes,' said Yaji.

  'Edo is a very prosperous sort of place,' the traveller went on. 'I go there every year and I have been invited occasionally to the Yoshiwara to take my pleasure. People are always asking me about it, but I really don't know how much it costs to go there. You gentlemen must certainly have been there. About how much does it cost?'

  'I have to sell from five to ten pieces of land every time I go there, ' said Yaji, ' but for such courtesans as you speak of it's only a trifle, —say one bu and two shu. Then there's a bu for the teahouse and another bu for the geisha. If they make it one one kin that would come to about four hundred each.'

  'Dear me!' said the traveller. 'I've been to several of the big houses, but I never heard tell of that one kin one kin business. What is it?'

  'Well,' replied Yaji, 'there's sake one kin and food one That's when you can't drink the sake in the house and they have to fetch it from outside.'

  'Aha!' said the traveller. 'There was nothing like that at the house I went to. They didn't bring in any sake we couldn't drink. It was very good saké.'

  'Oh, but it's the way of Edo people not to drink sake that's drinkable,' said Yaji.

  'Then the Edo girls all want ready money,' the traveller went on.

  'What are you talking about?' said Yaji. 'They'll give you any amount of credit if only they can send someone home with you to collect the money.'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed the traveller. 'You gentlemen have evidently never been to a large establishment. I have heard my shopmen talking about it and I have heard that they never give any credit if you go to buy a superior courtesan.'

  'What do you mean by saying we've never been there?' asked Yaji. 'Why I've got corns on my backside through sitting in a kago and being carried there.'

  'Well then,' said the traveller, 'what house do you go to?'

  'We go to the Ōkiya,' said Yaji.

  'Whose is the Ōkiya?' asked the traveller.

  'Tomenosuké,' said Yaji.

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed the traveller. 'I was talking about the Matsuwaya. They haven't got the superior courtesans at the Ōkiya. You're very low-class.'

  'Of course they have them there,' cried Yaji. 'Haven't they, Kita?'

  'I've been listening to you all this time without saying anything,' replied Kita, 'but I must say, Yaji, you're giving yourself airs. You've never been there yourself. You've only been listening to what other people told you. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, spoiling the reputation of your native place by talking at random like that.'

  'You fool!' cried Yaji. 'What's the good of talking like that? Didn't I take you with me as one of my company?'

  'Do you mean at the time of the landlord's funeral?' asked Kita. 'One of your company, indeed! I remember now you only paid two shu as a tip. I paid for the drinks and the fish salad, and everything.'

  'It's a lie,' said Yaji.

  'A lie, indeed!' said Kita. 'And moreover I remember that a fish bone stuck in your throat and you had to gulp down five or six helpings of rice to get rid of it.'

  'Don't talk nonsense,' said Yaji. 'It was you who did that when you burnt your mouth by drinking sweet sake at Tamachi.'

  'And then,' continued Kita, 'you let your purse drop in the ditch and picked up a piece of dog's dirt instead. Shame!'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed the traveller. 'You gentlemen are really very low-class.'

  'Whether we're low-class or high-class, you get out,' said Yaji. 'I've never met such an infernal old chatterer.'

  This angered the traveller, who went on in front with a stiff apology and, a hurried bow, and soon disappeared.

&n
bsp; 'Botheration!' said Yaji. 'That chap was too much for me. Ha-ha-ha!'

  While they were thus talking they passed Mikano Bridge, climbed Okubo Hill and soon reached Mitsuké.

  'Oh, I am tired,' said Kita. 'Let's ride for a bit.'

  'Won't you have a ride?' asked a postboy. 'I've got a fine horse here that wants to get home. I'll take you cheap. Have a ride.'

  'What do you think, Kita?' asked Yaji.

  'If it's cheap I'll ride,' said Kita.

  After bargaining over the price Kita got on. As the postboy was a country farmer he was very polite.

  'Isn't there a short cut to Tenryū, postboy?' asked Yaji.

  'Yes, if you go up there you'll cut off over two miles,' said the postboy.

  'Can a horse get through?' asked Yaji.

  'No, there's no horse road.'

  Yaji therefore decided to take the short cut by himself, leaving Kita to keep to the main road. Soon Kita crossed the bridge over the River Kamo and came to Nishizaka Sakaimatsu.

  'Come in and rest, come in and rest,' called the teahouse girls.

  'Try some of our famous cakes,' called an old woman.

  'Eh, mother,' said the postboy, 'what strange weather we're having.'

  'Good morning to ye,' said the old woman. 'That eldest girl of Shinta's is waiting to go with you. And look here, I've got a message for the old lady at Yokosuka. I've got a sermon for her dissipated uncle, so tell her to come and see me.'

  'All right,' said the postboy. 'I'll be back directly.'

  'This horse is very quiet,' said Kita.

  'That's because she's a mare,' said the postboy.

  'Ah, that's why it feels nice riding her,' said Kita.

  'Master,' said the postboy. 'Where's Edo?'

  'Edo?' said Kita. 'Why, it's the principal city.'

  'Ah, it's a wonderful place,' said the postboy. 'When I was young I went there once as one of the lord's retainers. It was full of traders.'

  'It's got to be,' said Kita. 'Why, I keep seventy or eighty attendants in my house.'

  'Think of that now!' said the postboy. 'It must be terrible hard work for your wife to boil all the rice for them. What does rice fetch in Edo, master?'

  'Why, one sho two go,' said Kita. 'If it's good, about one go.

  'And how much would that be, master?' asked the postboy.

  'A hundred coppers, of course,' said Kita.