Shank's Mare Read online

  'How many maids?'

  'There are three maids.'

  'Good-looking?'

  'They are very beautiful.'

  'You the landlord?'

  'Yes, I am the landlord.'

  'Got a wife?'

  'Yies, I have a wife.'

  'What sect?'

  'I belong to the Jōdō sect.'

  'Temple near?'

  'No, it is far away.'

  'What time's the funeral?'

  'Yaji!' cried Kita. 'What are you talking about?'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Yaji. 'It slipped out.'

  By this time they had come to Odawara, where, on both sides of the road the inn-maids were crying noisily, 'Walk in, walk in.'

  Soon they came to the shop where uirō, the famous medicine of Odawara, is sold.

  'Halloa!' said Kita. 'Look at the roof of this place. It's all ins and outs.'

  'That's the place where they sell uirō,' said Yaji.

  'Let's buy some,' said Kita. 'Is it nice?'

  'Awfully,' said Yaji. 'It just melts in your mouth.'

  'But this isn't a cake shop,—it's a medicine shop,' said Kita.

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Yaji.

  His fact was so sweet

  When he thought it was cake,

  But now it's turned sour,

  For medicine's sake.

  At last they came to the inn, where the landlord hastened in and called the maids to bring hot water. The landlord's wife brought them some tea, and in the meanwhile the maid filled a bucket with hot water and brought it for them to wash their feet. Yaji looked at the girl out of the corner of his eye.

  'Look at her,' he whispered to Kita. 'She ain't so bad.'

  'I'll see what she's like to-night,' said Kita.

  'What are you jawing about?' said Yaji. 'I'm going to do that.'

  'Look what you've done,' said Kita. 'You've put your foot in the hot water without taking off your sandal.'

  'Halloa! So I have,' said Yaji. 'Ha-ha-ha!'

  'The water's all dirty before I've begun,' grumbled Kita as he washed his feet.

  Soon they were conducted into a room, the maid carrying their baggage and their hats and putting them on the alcove.

  'I say,' said Kita to the maid. 'Just put some fire in the tobacco-box, will you?'

  'What a silly thing to say,' expostulated Yaji.

  'Why?' asked Kita.

  'Because she'll burn the tobacco-box if she puts fire in it,' replied Yaji. ' You should have said, put some fire in the place in the tobacco-box made to hold it.'

  'You've grown very particular in your language.' said Kita. 'When the days are short there wouldn't be time to smoke if one had to say all that every time.'

  'By the way, I do feel hungry,' said Yaji. 'And they've only just started to cook the boiled rice apparently. How tiresome! '

  'There you go. You're worse than I am,' said Kita.

  'How?' asked Yaji.

  'If you were to cook the boiled rice you'd turn it into gruel,' replied Kita. 'You should say, Boil the rice.'

  'Don't talk nonsense,' said Yaji. 'Ha-ha-ha!'

  Meanwhile the girl brought the tobacco-box.

  'If the bath's hot I'm going in,' said Kita.

  'There you go,' said Yaji,— 'correcting other people when you don't know how to speak yourself. How can you heat a bath? You should say, If the cold water in the bath is heated I'll go in.'

  Here the maid came back and told them that the bath was hot.

  'Oh, the cold water's got hot, has it?' said Yaji. 'Then I'll go in.'

  Taking his towel he went off to the bathroom.

  Now the landlord of this inn was a man from the West Country, and the bath resembled a Goemon bath, such as is common in his part of the country. He had constructed an oven of cement and over that placed a very thin piece of iron, such as is used to bake cakes on. On this he had placed the bath, and to keep it from leaking he had put mortar all round the sides. This is a very economical form of bath because it does not require much firewood to heat the water. Such baths have no lids, but there is a piece of wood to go on the bottom of the bath and as this floats on the top of the water when it is not in use, it serves as a lid and causes the water to get hot very rapidly. When the bath is used this piece of wood is, of course, pushed down to the bottom of the bath.

  Yajirobei had never seen a bath like this before, and thinking the piece of wood floating on the top was a lid he took it off quite innocently and put it on one side. Then he plunged into the bath, but as there was only the red-hot iron of the oven to stand on he burnt his feet horribly and got a terrible shock.

  'Oh, oh, oh!' he shouted, jumping out. 'This is a devil of a bath.'

  As he didn't like to ask how to get into the bath, he turned over all sorts of plans in his mind, till it happened that his eyes fell on a pair of clogs outside the closet. 'Aha! ' he thought. ' Those are just the things.' He put them on and got into the bath, and felt so happy at his discovery that he commenced to chant to himself.

  'Her tears fell like dew,' he chanted, when Kitahachi, who had got tired of waiting, peeped in at the door.

  'Halloa I' he said. 'That's why you've been so long in the bath. Aren't you coming out yet?'

  'Here, just feel me,' said Yaji.

  'Why?' asked Kita.

  'Don't I feel as if I had been boiled?'

  'You seem to have been enjoying yourself,' said Kita.

  Kitahachi went back into the room and Yaji, getting out of the bath, hid the clogs and came back to the room with an entirely innocent face.

  'Won't you have a bath?' he said.

  'I'm off,' said Kita.

  Quickly stripping himself he plunged one foot into the bath.

  'Oh, oh, oh!' he yelled. 'Yaji, Yaji, come here a moment. It's awful.'

  'What a row you are making,' said Yaji. 'What's the matter?'

  'Look here,' said Kita. 'How did you get into this bath?'

  'Fool!' said Yaji. 'There can't be more than one way of getting into a bath. You just swill yourself down and plunge in feet foremost.'

  'It's no joking matter,' said Kita. 'How can you get in when the bottom's hot?'

  'Of course you can,' replied Yaji. 'You saw me in the bath yourself.'

  'How did you manage it?'

  'What a persistent chap you are. What is there in getting into a bath?'

  'Well, it's very strange,' said Kita.

  'There's no difficulty about it,' said Yaji. ' It's a little hot at first, but bear it for a time and you'll soon get used to it.'

  'Don't talk like a fool,' said Kita. 'While I'm getting used to it my feet will be burnt off.'

  'What an unreasonable chap you are!' said Yaji.

  Yaji was so tickled over Kita's plight that he had to go back into the room to have a laugh. Kita thought of all sorts of plans for getting into the bath, and while he was looking round he came upon the pair of clogs that Yaji had hidden. 'Aha!' he thought. 'I see now,' and putting them on he got into the bath.

  'Yaji, Yaji,' he called.

  'What is it now?' asked Yaji.

  'It's just like what you said. It's not hot when once you get in. It feels fine. Do you not feel sorry for Ishidōmaru? Tsunren, tsunren.' he began to chant.

  Looking round Yaji saw that the clogs he had hidden had disappeared and knew that Kita had found them. He was just enjoying the joke when Kita, what with continually jumping up and down when he found a certain portion of his body was getting too hot and clattering about on the clogs inside the bath, broke the bottom out and sat down violently on the oven underneath, while the water running out of the bath turned into scalding steam.

  'Help, help!' yelled Kita. 'Send the lifeboat.'

  'Whatever have you done?' cried Yaji.

  The landlord, startled by the noise, came running round from the back and was astonished at what he saw.

  'Have you hurt yourself?' he asked.

  'It's nothing serious,' said Kita. 'The bottom came out of the bath. Ah!'<
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  'How could the bottom come out?' asked the landlord.

  'Suppose I was stamping about too much on the clogs,' said Kita.

  With a surprised air the landlord looked at Kita's feet and found that he was really wearing clogs.

  'You are a most extraordinary person,' he said. 'Whoever heard of getting into a bath with clogs on. It's absurd.'

  'Well, I got in with bare feet at first,' said Kita, 'but it was too hot.'

  'Your conduct is abominable,' said the landlord.

  Kita, who felt sorry for what he had done, made all sorts of excuses as he rubbed himself down, but the landlord's anger was not appeased until Yaji joined in and offered to pay for the damage.

  Kita was too depressed at the thought of the money he had wasted to listen to Yaji's jokes. Supper was brought in but it was eaten quickly and silently without any jokes or laughter.

  'There's nothing to be downhearted about,' said Yaji. 'We've really gained.'

  'How do you make that out?' asked Kita.

  'Well, knocking the bottom out of the bath has cost us two hundred coppers,' said Yaji, 'but it would have cost us more if we had gone to Yoshichō.'

  'Don't make a joke of it,' said Kita. 'You don't know how I feel.'

  'Well, I'm sorry you feel it so much,' said Yaji, 'because I've got something to tell you that will make you feel worse still.'

  'What's that?' asked Kita.

  'I've arranged for the maid to come here secretly to-night,' said Yaji. 'It's all fixed up. As you're so low spirited now I'm afraid this will make you feel worse.'

  'Really, is it true?' asked Kita. 'When did you arrange it?'

  'I'm pretty smart at that sort of thing,' said Yaji. 'It was while you were in the bath. I gave her something in advance and sealed the bargain with a kiss. Ain't I clever? That's how lovers are. Ha-ha-ha! Shall we go to bed now?'

  While Yaji was out doing something for himself the maid came in to make the beds.

  'I say,' said Kita. 'You've made some arrangement with my companion, haven't you?'

  'Ho-ho-ho!' laughed the girl.

  'Well, it's no laughing matter,' said Kita. 'I'll tell you secretly that that fellow's suffering terribly from disease and you'd better be careful you don't catch it. It's out of pity for you that I'm telling you. You mustn't tell anyone else.'

  As he was telling her as a secret the girl thought it was true and felt shocked.

  'And his legs are always covered with boils,' Kita went on seeing the impression he had made, ' and they keep breaking like beggars' hats, and he has to stick ointment over them. And then the smell of his armpits! And he's such a terribly passionate fellow that he never lets go once he has caught hold of you. And his breath smells something horrible ; that's because of his disease. It's really almost impossible for me to sit and eat with him. It makes me feel sick. Ugh!'

  While he was speaking Yaji came back again and the girl said good-night and quickly went out. Yaji got into bed immediately.

  'I'll just warm it up a bit,' he said.

  'Botheration,' said Kita.' Everything's gone wrong to-night. First I burn myself and then I have to pay two hundred coppers, and then on top of that I've got to lie here alone while you're embracing that nice girl. I'm being knocked about by the world something awful.'

  'He-he-he!' giggled Yaji. 'You must be patient. I know it will be rather disagreeable for you to-night, but still... I wonder when the little beauty is coming . . . Kitahachi, are you asleep? Don't go to sleep yet.'

  But Kita only snored by way of answer.

  Yaji thought he heard the maid coming, but however long he waited there was not a sign of her, and he began to feel doubtful whether he had not wasted his money in giving her something in advance. At last he could bear the suspense no longer and clapped his hands. The landlady answered the summons.

  'Did you call?' she asked.

  'It's not about you,' said Yaji. 'I've got something I want to ask the maid. Would you mind calling her?'

  'The girl who waited on you?' asked the landlady. 'She comes in from outside every day. She's gone home now.'

  'Oh!' said Yaji. 'Really? All right, all right.'

  So the landlady said good-night and went back to the kitchen.

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Kita.

  'What are you laughing at, you fool?' asked Yaji.

  But Kita went on laughing. 'I've got level with you now,' he said. 'We can go to sleep peacefully.'

  'Do as you like,' said Yaji sulkily.

  The unfortunate Yaji, quite unconscious of the trick that Kita had played on him, knew that he had not only wasted his treasured money but that he was also compelled to lose time by lying alone that night.

  Joking they fell asleep and it was not until the sound of a distant temple bell broke into their dreams that they woke up, to find it was already dawn. Quickly getting up, they made their preparations for the day's travel and started off. That day they had to walk the twenty miles over the celebrated Hakoné range, and already they had begun the slow climb of Ishidaka road.

  When they were near Kazamatsuri, Yajirobei made the following poem:—

  Oh the stony road

  O'er the mountain range!

  Well it's named the stony street,

  Beaten down by people's feet.

  'We'd better buy a torch, hadn't we?' said Kita. 'They're famous for them here.'

  'Fool!' said Yaji. 'What should we want with a torch when the sun's up?'

  'That doesn't matter,' said Kita. 'You get one and light it. It'll console you for last night.'

  'Shut up,' said Yaji, while Kita laughed.

  At Yumoto, on both sides of the road there are very fine buildings, with two or three handsome girls before each shop selling the turned woodware for which the place is noted. Kita went along peeping into every shop.

  'It's like an advertisement of face-powder,' he said. 'All these girls have their faces and their hands powdered up.'

  'Shall we buy something?' suggested Yaji.

  'Please look at our wares,' said a girl. 'Please walk in.'

  'Please, miss,' said Yaji, 'just show me that over there.'

  But the girl was attending to another customer, and the only person to wait on Yaji was the granddame, who came hurrying out of the kitchen.

  'Ay, ay,' she said. 'Is it this ye're wanting to see?'

  But as she was only the grandmother Yaji refused her help.

  'It's not that at all,' he said. 'Here, miss, just show me that there.'

  'Ay, ay,' said granny. 'Is it this your honour wants?'

  'No, no, I don't want that,' said Yaji. 'Here, miss, what's that you've got in your hand?'

  'Oh, this is a tobacco-box,' said the girl.

  'That's what I want,' said Yaji. 'How much is it?'

  'It's three hundred coppers, your honour,' replied the girl.

  'Make it a hundred,' bargained Yaji.

  'Oh, that's too little,' she replied. 'We never overcharge gentlemen like you.' She gave him a glance which entirely softened his heart.

  'Well then, two hundred,' he said.

  'Won't you make it a little more?' she asked. She gave him another glance with a little laugh, though there was really nothing to laugh about.

  'Well then, three hundred, three hundred,' said Yaji.

  'Do make it a little more,' said the girl, and she laughed again.

  'Well, botheration take it, four hundred,' said Yaji.

  He flung down a string of coppers and seized his purchase.

  'Come on, Kitahachi,' he said. 'Let's go.'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Kita. 'That's something new, ain't it, giving four hundred coppers for something only worth three hundred.'

  'I don't regret it,' said Yaji. 'That girl was awfully taken with me.'

  'Get out!' said Kita. 'Ha-ha-ha!'

  'She was. Didn't you notice how she was looking at me all the time?'

  'She couldn't help it,' said Kita. 'Did you see her eyes? She'd got a squint.'

 
Here four or five shock-headed children came running up to them.

  'Give us a copper,' they cried, 'and we'll go to Gongen Sama for you.'

  'What's that for?' asked Kita.

  'Why, to worship in your place,' they replied.

  'Worship for me?' said Kita. 'Everywhere I look I see rustic faces. Who is there that I would change with? There is not one worthy of the change. By the way, what's that bell?'

  'We've got to Sai-no-Kawara,' said Yaji.

  Then they came to the barrier.

  Fluttering our papers

  The spring winds blow,

  When through the open barriers

  How gratefully we go.

  This stage being at the top of the pass they celebrated their arrival by exchanging numerous cups of sake.

  BOOK TWO

  FIRST PART

  HŌMEI in his Tokaidō diary says:— 'There is the music of the harp in the pinetrees and the sound of the timbrel in the waves ; the panting of the carriers is like the sound of flutes, and the stamp of the horses' feet like the boom of the big drum.'

  Here begins the second book of Hizakurigé. Strike up the music.

  Here we have Yajirobei and Kitahachi, two idle fellows from Hatchō-bōri in Kanda, Edo, filled with a pious desire to worship at the shrine of Isé seven times and at the shrine of Kumano three times, besides making monthly journeys to the Atago shrine, sauntering along, not at all in a hurry, till they have reached Hakoné. Ah! the winding roads of Hakoné and ah! the sweet sake and fish for which the mountains have been so long famous.

  'Try some of our famous sweet saké,' cried a wayside dealer.

  'Let's rest a bit, Yaji,' said Kita.

  They sat down on a bench and Kita called to the old man to give them a drop.

  'It's very black,' said Kita.

  'The black kind's the sweetest,' said Yaji. 'It's like Hama-matsu in Enshū.'

  'It's bad, very bad,' said Kita. 'Here, why don't you drink some?'

  'No, thank you,' said Yaji. 'Look at that cup. It's not suitable to offer to me. Now if the pattern had been convolvulus . . .'

  'That's so,' said Kita. 'Look here, old man, haven't you got any pickles to eat with the rice and beans?'

  'I've only got pickled plums,' said the old man.

  They took some of the pickled plums and started off after they had paid for their meal.